In recent years it has been refreshing when in attendance of a speaker to hear their advice and it's already things I’m doing. It’s that feeling of “great, I’m on the right track.” Where previously it was “great, that’s good advice, I’m going to start doing that.” Today I met Elizabeth Krear via her PayTech Women, formerly Wnet, fireside chat with Linda Perry. While she is in a different industry, she and I have made similar decisions and share similar outlooks.

Elizabeth advises when you get an opportunity really think about it and decide. If it is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities take it and figure out how to make it work, but whether you decide to take it or not make the decision and never look back. I say reflection is key to learning, but don’t dwell on “what if” or “if I could go back” type statements. The belonging you seek is ahead of you, not behind.

Elizabeth shared this gives you confidence and someone may be listening that can help you get what you want. I would add that it makes your want real and people can start helping to hold you accountable.

Linda shared this after discussing Elizabeth’s role as Chief Engineer on a project where she launched the Jeep Gladiator in Austria (the once in a lifetime opportunity previously referenced)! Elizabeth created a team that had 30% women and the team beat their deadlines, met all quality assurances and came under budget by millions of dollars. There are countless studies that show revenue is higher, etc. so why are we still trying to convince leaders to hire outside of people that look like them.

I have recently been doing this unconsciously by sitting at the kitchen table at night working on writing my book. While my kids (10 and 12) typically stick to their room in the evenings they occasionally come by and check in on me and give me feedback. Elizabeth mentioned her experience going back to get her Masters in Business while her kids were in middle school and sitting at the kitchen table and her kids would sit with her and study/do homework together.

Apply for the role if you meet 80% of the criteria. If you meet 100% of the criteria, you are probably not learning.

Maintain a single notebook that includes advice from other that inspire you or things other people tell you that you want to remember. I do this and I have it with me for any conference I attend. I write down the event, date, speaker, people I meet and anecdotes to be able to refer back to for reflection, help and networking. Often, I share insights like I am now with others who could not be in attendance.

Smiling can help you feel good, be accepted when you walk into the room, and feel more confident.

Or whatever it is you want to wear. We discussed the General Motors CEO, Mary Barra, who is their first female CEO and how more women are becoming leaders within large organizations particularly in male dominated industries. Linda commented on how you often see her wearing a leather jacket instead of a traditional blazer or suit jacket. I recently embraced my leather jacket and wore it last October to Money 20/20. Confident people can wear what they want and when they do, they feel more comfortable and more confident instead of wearing what they think people want them to wear and feeling uncomfortable and less confident. Try it out at your next in person event!